ACHTUNG!! ATTENTION EARFLINGS... We have recently succeeded in shifting your pitiful orb off it's puny axis (our attack being disguised as an earfquake), thereby shortening your daylight hours and disrupting photosynthesis on a global scale. How will your precious smartphones save you now?! Surrender immediately to ((THORLOCK)) agents by attending our live processing events. Mark them on your calendar. Tardiness will not be tolerated. If you want to help organize a processing event in your area, contact your favorite promoters/venues/radio/bands and tell them to get ((THORLOCK)) or get FUCKED! Boom. ((ommunication out))
